The X-Project

To: [Remy], [Jake]
From: [Amanda]



I don't know if Remy'll get this or not, depending on where he is, but I thought I'd give you both a heads up. Manuel knows - I couldn't block the link forever, and he found out about his dad. We've had a row 'bout it and he's told me to go, so that's just what I'm doing. I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to tell him, but he could tell I wasn't surprised when he told me his dad had been shopped. he's pretty much announced it, so it's not like it's a secret any more.

I'm heading to Germany, to join my birth family. Don't know how long for, but I'll be calling Alison weekly to check in. Don't worry about me, yeah?

Amanda.



To: [Marie-Ange], [Angelo], [Clarice], [Doug], [Forge]
From: [Amanda]



Never mind what I said on my journal. Here's the truth - I figured you five deserve that much. And it's not like it can cause any great harm now, tho' it's probably best if you don't say anything.

I'm not going home, at least, not to Rom. She's on retreat, has been since Pete went away. I'm going to go join my birth family for a bit, not sure how long. Alison and Kurt have made all the arrangements. I'm sorry to go without saying good bye proper, but it's important that I go quick.

It was Alphonso de la Rocha who ordered Pete's dad be killed. And Pete, being who and what he is, took care of it yesterday. And Manuel's found out.

It's obvious from his journal he's not taking it well. Blood's important, or so they tell me, and even with what that fucker did to both of us, Manuel's grieving. And since it was Pete that killed him, having me around isn't exactly comfortable for either of us, so I'm getting both of us some space.

It's cowardly of me, I know, to just take off like this, but I've never been good at the goodbye thing, and I've had to say too fucking many lately. I'm not taking my laptop or the PDA, but I'll be calling Alison weekly, and I've promised Angelo I'll be in touch with him as well. Look after yourselves, and don't worry too much about me - I'm pretty sure Margali won't stand for any trouble.

Oh, and I'd appreciate it if you kept where I am quiet. I don't know if there's going to be some revenge thing against me or not, and I don't particularly want Manuel being able to find me, either.

Amanda.



To: [Nate], [Moira]
From: [Amanda]



I'm such a coward. I shouldn't be doing this with a bloody email, I should be there talking to you both now. Only if I do that, I'll lose my bottle, and fuck knows I have to do this. For me, as much as for anyone else.

Manuel knows. About his Dad, and about Pete. And apparently family honour and all the rest of it is more important than what that bastard Alphonso did to both of us. We had a row about it and he told me to get away from him, so that's exactly what I'm doing. But not just for him, for me as well.

I can't take any more of the school, and that's the honest truth. I've tried to be what everyone wants me to be, tried to be a grown-up and deal with things, but there's been so much, and this last month keeping secret why Pete left has been just the last straw. I love you both, and I feel so fucking awful leaving now of all times, but if I don't I don't know what'll happen - something worse than throwing Jubilee into a wall, probably. Or falling off the wagon that last time. I just need time and space to breathe, to just be me without worrying about Manuel, or Pete, or the rest of the school. It's selfish I know, but I just can't do it any more. There's nothing left to cope with.

Alison's arranged for Kurt to take me to my birth family for a while. I'll be calling in weekly to check in, but at this point I don't know when I'll be back. Please don't worry about me too much, I'll be safe and it's not like I've fallen off the edge of the world or nothing. Just concentrate on each other for a bit, without me to distract things, yeah? Focus on Nate getting better, and the baby, and that sort of thing.

I love you, and I'll see you again. You don't get rid of me that easy.


Amanda.

PS: I've left the supplies for my sleepy tea in Moira's office, with instructions. Works better on him than the little green pills, and doesn't make him as dopey.




To: Domino@XXXXundisclosed addressXXXX
From: [Amanda]



Sorry I couldn't wait - Manuel knows. And he's told me to go, so that's what I'm doing. Alison's arranged for me to go stay with my birth family - I'd go to the Pack, but let's face it, Manuel would think of that first, and I really don't have the slightest clue if he or some of his father's people are going to try for some revenge thing or not, and with the way he is, I honestly don't know if he'd tell them where I was. Safer if I vanish for a while.

I emailed Pete, and Nate and Moira. Yeah, cowardly I know, but I couldn't stand there and tell him I'm leaving him in the lurch, not with him in that fucking bed still. But you've seen what this place is doing to me, Dom - if I don't get away now, fuck knows what state I'll be in.

Keep an eye on him for me, yeah? I'll be in touch.

Amanda.



To: Pete@XXXXundisclosedaddressXXXX
From: [Amanda]



Pete,

I don't know if you're still checking this, I hope you are. No need to reply - I won't be able to get it any way.

Manuel's found out. I swear I didn't mean to tell him, it's the link, I can't keep a secret from him. Fuck knows how I've managed this long, except that I've been avoiding him a fair bit so he wouldn't know I was hiding something. But yeah, he found out Alphonso was dead, and when I came to see what the fuss was about on the link and he told me, he knew I wasn't surprised by the news and that it was something to do with you.

I don't know what he'll do - he's all caught up with family honour and the rest, so there's a slight chance he'll either try and avenge that bastard himself, or get someone else to. Not that he's that much of a threat to you, but I thought I ought to give you a heads up, since the last thing I want is the two of you… well, just the two of you anything at this point.

Don't worry about me. I'm leaving the school for a while, not sure how long. I can't get hold of Rom, and they're not about to let me go wandering off on me own, so they're letting me go to my birth family in Germany. I can't stay here - Manuel told me to get away from him, and at any rate, I can't handle it here any more, not without a break at least.

I'll be in touch, let you know what's going on. Take care.

Amanda.



To: [de la Rocha, Manuel]
From: [Sefton, Amanda]



You wanted me gone, and I have.

A.