Email to Illyana
Mar. 5th, 2024 04:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xp_angel posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
xp_communicationTo: Favourite Minion
From: Bossman
Illyana, I've made it with a woman. Inform the men. And by men, I mean don't. And if you haven't seen Futurama yet, then please take the week off and catch up.
Send Melody Guthrie (I don't have her contact information so have fun with that... oh wait, no I have her number. Never mind. Here it is. xxx-xxxx) the sexual congress survey.
Also, book her a spa day at the Ritz-Carlton, go all out. I think they have those diamond masks treatments and the dermaflash. Never too young to reverse sun damage. And then a manicure and pedicure -- make sure it's extra. Like .... EXTRA. Like so extra, it makes you puke and wish you had another job.
And then book yourself a vacation somewhere. For fuck's sake woman, take a break!!!!!!!!!
And watch Futurama.
Affectionately yours,
WW3
From: Bossman
Illyana, I've made it with a woman. Inform the men. And by men, I mean don't. And if you haven't seen Futurama yet, then please take the week off and catch up.
Send Melody Guthrie (I don't have her contact information so have fun with that... oh wait, no I have her number. Never mind. Here it is. xxx-xxxx) the sexual congress survey.
Also, book her a spa day at the Ritz-Carlton, go all out. I think they have those diamond masks treatments and the dermaflash. Never too young to reverse sun damage. And then a manicure and pedicure -- make sure it's extra. Like .... EXTRA. Like so extra, it makes you puke and wish you had another job.
And then book yourself a vacation somewhere. For fuck's sake woman, take a break!!!!!!!!!
And watch Futurama.
Affectionately yours,
WW3
no subject
Date: 2024-03-06 12:33 am (UTC)From: Best Assistant
YOU DID THE SEX WITH A GUTHRIE?!
Jay is going to murder you. Also big brother Sam who kisses Clint so maybe does not have legs to stand on for this.
RIP my chance to dance on Second's grave to tune of "haha asshole ur son's in charge now." I will comfort Bobbi after u are dead, she will need strong shoulder to laugh-cry on and mine are best for strong, competent woman with questionable taste in future husband.
U know the surveys Bcc Jay now, right??? If I have to suffer he does too.
I will book her for body massage and facial package plus mani/pedi with upgrades and allow her to choose base massage styles.
Am busy with other things, will do long vacation later and play more video games on clock during Fridays if that will make u feel better.
Best,
♕IR
no subject
Date: 2024-03-06 01:04 am (UTC)From: Ex-Employer
Why the fuck would I have any idea what you do at work?
Also looooooool I kinda wish I could see Jay's face.
No disgruntled family has killed me yet. I have no reason to think that's changing.
Mwah.
WW3
no subject
Date: 2024-03-06 01:10 am (UTC)From: Best Assistant
You are very grumpy for man who is getting laid. Fix that. I am less grumpy, and I do not do the sex unless people meet exacting standards.
Am sure u will see Jay's face, right before u are punched.
Still the Best,
♕IR