Email to Garrison
Mar. 7th, 2011 01:17 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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xp_communicationTo: [Garrison]
From: [Marie-Ange]
Subject: Injured?
I have heard that you were hurt badly, at least that is what the conversation that I saw about buying you beer seemed to imply. Are you up for a visitor, or no?
From: [Marie-Ange]
Subject: Injured?
I have heard that you were hurt badly, at least that is what the conversation that I saw about buying you beer seemed to imply. Are you up for a visitor, or no?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 09:20 pm (UTC)Hi MA!
I have tubes coming out of me. Big ones. I think it involves orange juice.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 09:22 pm (UTC)From: [Marie-Ange]
I suspect your 'tube' involves vicodin or whichever of the painkillers your metabolism does not destroy in three minutes flat. You are -stoned-.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 09:25 pm (UTC)I am not! I just say no to drugs!
No, drugs. See that. I told them no. Orange juice... you know, it's really hard to read the screen in here. They gave me a floppy laptop. It's like a pancake that gets Facebook. I >>>unidentified noise<<< and Maple BookFace!
That's got to be worth a billion loonies, eh?
no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 09:29 pm (UTC)From: [Marie-Ange]
I think the drugs have said "yes" to Garrison Kane. I do not know your middle name or else I would use it. How do I not know your middle name?
Is there anything you do want, besides maple syrup for your 'pancake laptop' or a billion loonies?
no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 09:37 pm (UTC)You dumped me for your short ex-boyfriend. He was lee-tle. Lee-tle! ... he was-- what?
Wait, my tubes went on. It sounds like an air pump for a fish tank. Did you ever have a fish tank? My sister had one, with lee-tle angels, and tetras and those little suckerfish that look like this >>>unidentified noise<<<
She put the heater up to max one weekend before we went out of cook and accidentality made soup. Whole house smelled like fish soup. Tubes, right.
The Japanese lady fellated me. Fellated like a fish. Just fellated open my chest with really long claws. Like Logan with a manicure >>>unidentified noise<<< Logan BookFace!
Sorry! Sorry... Jonathan. My grandpa was Jonathan Borden. I'm Jonathan.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 09:40 pm (UTC)From: [Marie-Ange]
Everyone is short compared to you, you are a million feet tall, that is where all of the rumors about Canadian giants come from. They are from you.
I had mice, they had those exercise wheels and once one got out and chewed a hole in my dresser and ate two pairs of my underwear. Then it died.
Filet. Eff Eye Ell Ee Tee. Fellate is something else, your voice transcription does not know the difference. Someone should educate it.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 09:52 pm (UTC)I am exactly 183cm tall. That's not giant. That's just right. I was told that. Wait, you told me that. You said I was the perfect size!
I don't know what Eff Eye Ell Ee Tee means. It's not French, because I speak Franch. Is it Spanish? I don't speak much Spanish. If they let me have my phone, I'll call Angelo and ask him what it means. Or Sofia! She speaks Spanish if you give her shoes.
Adri used to like shoes. Did you know she put out a disdraining order on me? Me! I don't need a retraining order. I'm the police... sort of. I'm the person they call when you need someone to make the explaining order work. But there it is. Misnaming order. I can't even go to see a game at Fenway now. Massholes... >>>unidentified noise<<<
I called and left you, like, a bunch of messages but you weren't there. Paige... no, wait, not her. Amara-rara-rah-whatever. No, the other blonde! The other lee-tle one! Mandy! Mandy said you weren't there and wouldn't say where you were.
>>>unidentified noise<<<
>>>whisper<<< Where were you?
no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 09:58 pm (UTC)From: [Marie-Ange]
I have changed my mind. You are a giant from Canada.
Filet. Your voice transcription spelled it fellate. They are two different words, and I think had Deathstrike fellated you that you would be much more miserable than you are now.
I was in New Orleans. Amanda was being circumspect. That is also not french, should you be confused.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 10:06 pm (UTC)She fellated open my chest. I can't think of anything worse then that. I can't even put on a t-shirt. Also, because of the fellating, I have to type one handed. That's not true. Because of her head, I have to type one handed. You be careful about the head of strange people. Once you hit that, they fellate you. Like a fish.
New Orleans! Cool! I want to go to New Orleans. They have beer and seafood and that Dixie Cup jazz. I saw this video on the 'net where girls took their tops off if you gave them beads. I could get beads! >>>unidentified noise<<<
Road trip to New Orleans! Your status is 'topless' on >>>unidentified noise<<< vs Spy BookFace!
no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 10:10 pm (UTC)From: [Marie-Ange]
Filet. It means to slice up. Fellate means blow job. Why did I even have to explain that to you.
You broke your hand on her head? Oh, she has metal bones like Logan. Is so also a psychopath? Perhaps it is the metal bones...
Here is a fun exercise for you. Try to say zydeco. It is a kind of music, I will send you some once you are not stoned. If you can manage to say it perhaps I will go to the party store and see about finding you beads. I am sure you can find a use for them.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 10:16 pm (UTC)No, I would have remembered a blow job. This was a fellating. What would you bring up blow jobs? Why do they call it a job in the first place? It's not like on your resume you put down '2009 to 2011 - I had a blow job. I worked in the blow job industry.' It's a growth sector, eh. >>>unidentified noise<<<
O. K. Zed-yeeh-dee... co. Zed-yeeh-dee-co! If you bring me beads so I can make you topless on BookFace, I will learn how to play zed-yeeh-dee-co music on my guitar. It's on the guitar, right? It's not, like, music for the glockenspiel or something?
>>>unidentified noise<<<
Glockenspiel! That's just funny.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 10:20 pm (UTC)From: [Marie-Ange]
You are going to look back at these emails in a few days and laugh.
You failed at saying zydeco. But since I feel sorry for you since you have been 'fellated' so horribly, perhaps I will visit once you are feeling a little less stoned. I think there are guitars involved, yes.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 10:25 pm (UTC)That would be good. You can have some of my orange juice. As long as I can keep Nurse Ratched away from me until then.
She keeps threatening me with a sponge bath. >>>whisper<<< and it's a really tiny sponge!
>>>unidentified noise<<<
no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 10:28 pm (UTC)From: [Marie-Ange]
I do not want orange juice from a tube. I will bring you real orange juice from oranges, not from tubes.
Is she threatening to give you a sponge bath because you have not showered?
no subject
Date: 2011-03-08 12:42 am (UTC)Tuuuuuuuuuuuuubbbbbesssss!
No, I have not. I am dirty.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-08 12:45 am (UTC)From: [Marie-Ange]
Have they given you more painkillers? Is that what is in your tubes?
Ask for a washcloth. I am not going to come by and give you a sponge bath, as exciting as that would be for both of us. You are far too injured and stoned.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-08 12:51 am (UTC)I think it's orange juice. Marie-Ange, if I don't make it, I want you to have my orange juice.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-08 12:53 am (UTC)From: [Marie-Ange]
I can tell you with a reasonable about of assurance that you are not going to die from having been fellated by Deathstrike. Who I refuse to dignify with a title, in part because I still have to speak to Betsy and she would find out and probably try to stab me with her brain.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-08 12:55 am (UTC)I once had a magazine with Betsy in it, where she was wearing only this little purple nightee. It was a great magazine. But don't tell Mom. She got mad when Vikks ratted me out the last time.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-08 12:56 am (UTC)From: [Marie-Ange]
Can I tell your father?
no subject
Date: 2011-03-08 12:57 am (UTC)>>>whisper<<< I stole it from him!
>>>unidentified noise<<<
>>>unidentified noise<<<
>>>unidentified noise<<<
no subject
Date: 2011-03-08 12:58 am (UTC)From: [Marie-Ange]
Of course you did.