The X-Project

To: Ancato, Marie
From: Sefton, Amanda

Subject: thinking

Its to soon. I know its to soon, but I have to say something at least before things start getting all muddled in me head again.

You asked me if I'd thought about what would happen. To tell the truth, I didn't think at all. Haven't been for a while now. I've been running on magic an feelings ever since I got here an its not a combination that makes for thinking about things. Reacting yes, but not the follow-through. So all I thought of was how sick I was of Ramsey moping around the place like a wet cat, an about how much better 'n me he thought he was with his morals an the whole love thing an... an I wanted to... test him I suppose. Show him he's no different from me, or maybe show meself he is. An if he did decide to use the potion, well, it was gunna be a laugh, right?

Only there was more than Doug involved, an that was the part I didn't think about.

I'm not good with people. Not long term, Never had to be, never knew the same person for long, except for Rack. An he isn't exactly a person. So I don't tend to think about things in the long term, its all about immediate results an then I'm off somewhere else before the shit hits the fan. An there was never a time when I cared, neither, what happened to someone else.

But I'm tired of living like that, it's making me into someone like Manny an I don't want to be that way. You lot here have given me a chance, trusted me, an I threw it back in your faces an I don't deserve another chance, but I'm asking for one any way cause its important to me. You're important to me, or you could be. I'd like too see if that's right, if you'll let me.

I meant what I said, about doing any thing to fix this. You say the word an I'll do it. An if that word's fuck off, then I'll do that to.

I'll keep out of yer face in the mean time. Like I said, its to soon, an you don't need me reminding you of what I done.

A.